Spring has sprung! And with it comes the required seasonal sort out of house and garden, as well as a call to living a healthier life.
So why not add to that list, an invitation to purge your innermost self as well.
Here is my suggested to do list based on personal experience and observation. Don’t be afraid to try this at home!
- eliminate hard hearters
- always be frank
- run to instead of from
- sit back and observe
Who are hard hearters and why should we distance ourselves from them
Hard hearters are all those individuals that only have I, me, my, mine on the brain 24/7. They are forever comparing and contrasting their life condition to that of family, friends and colleagues, so as to confirm their self-importance and pole position in life. You will find them everywhere, at every level of society and in all cultures.
Their unifying and distinguishing characteristics are: cheapness (with their money, their affection and their time), lack of empathy and sharing (the conversation always reverts back to them and they don’t consider anyone else’s needs or feelings), ridiculous competitiveness (if a friend buys a new handbag or car or books a luxe vacation, guess who will be tenaciously topping that very shortly), fake in their kudos (gushing with compliments only for those they consider beneath them and are therefore non threatening to their spot on top). And based on all of the above, they are eternally unhappy.
They also share a straight line tight lip thing, with a stiffening of the shoulders thing and an empty stare thing on a stony face during an uncomfortable silence thing when hearing about someone else’s success. Eliminate! Eliminate! Eliminate!
Honestly, it really is the best policy
Be frank. Always. Honesty is the way to go. I have come to realize that it isn’t the truth that is taboo, but the way it is presented and the why it is being presented. Words need to be chose carefully, body language and tone of voice make a world of difference and there mustn’t be any type of cruel or gainful intention behind your telling of the truth.
You can literally deliver the worst news to someone, in a thoughtful manner, and believe it or not, it’ll be okay. I’ve been there and done it. Naturally, if you are speaking to someone that is arrogantly narcissistic, they may take it and then turn around and bash you for it. BUT, you have the strength of your convictions and will be able to sleep like a baby at night. Try it! Try it! Try it!
Run towards a lightness of being
Run towards things, people, situations. Running towards can bring union, division, explosion, novelty, good and bad surprises, but most of all it brings resolution, learning and can provide closure.
Running towards a dream may lead to realizing it wasn’t your dream after all. On the other hand it may lead you right down the path you should be on and give you life long purposefulness and satisfaction. You also won’t be collecting what if’s and who knows’, married to frustration and resentment along the way.
Running towards a problem, an obstacle, a fear will bring closure, thus freeing you to move on to the next one and the one after that (because in life they do keep coming). A streamlined vessel as opposed to one piled up with anxiety and insecurity is faster, more efficient and far more resilient. Running towards with arms outstretched is already 70% of the battle, so grab those sneakers. Go! Go! Go!
Sit back, Relax and Learn
Sit back and observe. Oh my goodness! Probably the hardest thing to do. However, if we really started to observe the world and the people around us (beyond the superficial and the obvious) what revelations would ensue.
What you thought was wrong may turn out to be right, what was blue is actually aquamarine, an aggressive individual really just scared. And the list goes on. But, to allow for these breakthroughs you need to actually be quiet, open yourself up and observe with an unbiased eye. If you leave prejudice and stereotypes, gossip and stigma aside there will be more empty space for noticing particulars, layers and nuances. Recommend! Recommend! Recommend!